Online Porn: Monitoring Our Kids

Well ... here I am. Over a month since my last post and I find myself inspired greatly to tackle a rather heavy subject this morning.

Over a month since my last post ... hang on, shouldn't I be posting pics of the kids and telling you all why I haven't posted in over a month? Isn't that the norm on WeezaFish??

It is, but then that doesn't help all the meatier posts I like to write that are backed up in my drafts folder right now.

THIS one here (which I will eventually get to, promise) has been lingering there for a while but then a story I read yesterday brought it bubbling and frothing right up to the forefront again, demanding to be finished.

In my head at least :)

Online Porn: Monitoring Our Kids

I know, apologies to my more sensitive (or terribly British) readers who are maybe now shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Wondering nervously what I'm about to write about, already blushing.

Never fear, I'm not about to post images or links to anything that you wouldn't want to see. Promise.

Also apologies to my non-parent readers. This may involve you slightly less but I do implore that you read and pretty please share it anyway.
 
DO take a deep breath and prepare yourself. 'Pull up your big girl (or boy) britches' as my beloved sister-in-law would say, because if you have kids then this is just one of those conversations that you simply MUST have. With your partner and also with your older children.

Parents? What exactly do you know about the quantity, quality and subject of online Porn?

Big Industry. HUGE!

Do you know how ridiculously MASSIVE online porn is? Here's the facts for you. It's an Infographic (meaning a poster style image rather than a written article) so please take the time to follow the link. There's no heavy reading involved and lots of eye catching graphics. No, not rude ones. I'll wait for you *slurps tea*.

1. Until very recently, when Social Media finally took over, Porn was by far the largest use of the internet and had been since it's first inception.

2. Currently around 12% of websites (that's over 24 and a half MILLION) are Porn sites.

3. Every SECOND, some 28,258 internet users are viewing porn and spending over $3,000, around R30,000 or £1,900, EACH SECOND. The industry Worldwide is worth a staggering $4.9 BILLION a year. 

4. Utah has the highest rate of online porn subscriptions (!?!).

5. Okay - scary now - and the reason I sit here writing this. The AVERAGE age, not 'unusually, or occasionally' but AVERAGE age a person first sees online porn images or movies is 11. Yes, 11.

ELEVEN? WTF!

Got an eleven year old? If you do then you must know that it is, therefore, highly likely that they've already seen some online porn. Possibly lots and, here's the worst part - a lot of what's out there is not what most of us would view as the kind of love life we would wish for our children in their adult lives and relationships.

Okay. Now prepare yourself a bit, and then read this. This IS a bit of a lengthy article, but you'll skip through it in five minutes. Make yourself read it please. It is shocking if you've not already seen it and again, I promise nothing graphic or too nasty. Simply the tale itself will shock you.

Come back to me when you're done. I'm not writing anything else until you have! :)

Are you back? WTF huh? We humans need to tackle this no?

Gone are the days of our tweens learning about sex from discovering someone's dog eared 'Playboy' collection or from reading their Mums Jackie Collins.

Be A Goddamn Parent!!

Getting straight to the point, I really feel that there's a very dangerous style of parenting that has the concentration to our children and their activities lessen greatly, just at the point in their lives when they really need us to be involved and guiding them.

I'll be honest, I have a six and a three year old and even I enjoy those times when they can entertain themselves, leaving me to get on with something I need or want to do in peace.

As our children grow older and more independent, we tend to leave them to their own devices more and more so skip forward five years or so and my boys will, most probably, have screens of all types with internet access whenever they want. Shut away in their rooms. Doing homework, right?

"ah-ah" as they would say here in South Africa, with a shake of the head and a wag of the finger. I learnt from South African parents that as your child hits adolescence is exactly when you UP the attention, make sure that you're MORE involved in their lives, know their friends, their interests and exactly what they're doing, when, with whom and for how long. As an older family friend, and Mum to a 19 year old told me "as they become teenagers is exactly when you must hold them the tightest".

Talk 'The' Talk

Our kids need our guidance so much at this age and we have to stop being shy about talking to them about love and *gulps nervously* sex at exactly this point in their lives. They must know that there is a healthy, loving and fun sex life to be had in their futures AND ... we need to tell them what that might entail. 

Sex Ed at school teaches them at this age about what goes where and how to avoid pregnancy and STD's but they don't speak about love and relationships, which is surely just as important.

I know, you really don't want to tell them about that stuff do you? But if YOU don't give them a good grounding, a sounding board of what is healthy and good and loving - do you want it to come from a Porn Site?

I have years to prepare for the Talk but prepare I feel I must because talking to your kids about this stuff early means you have to think about what's appropriate for their age to hear. Less gory details, more humanity. I'm thinking of a child friendly general chat about loving, equality.  Self respect and mutual respect of others. Nothing should be harmful or hurtful or against anothers will.

And BE involved. Limit their screen time and keep the internet out of their bedrooms whenever possible. The Home PC should be used for homework and put it in a central room, even the kitchen, so they get used to seeing you and your partner using the internet as well. Learn how to use the sites that they do. How to monitor their internet use (or just read my next point if you don't know how).

Porn WILL get through to them, no matter how hard you try and stop it. A friend at school who's parents don't monitor will forward a pic that works it way around the whole school in minutes.

Could be of rough and aggressive sexual practices, beastiality, S&M (and not the silk scarf on the bedposts, fifty-shades-of-you-know-what kind). Child Porn, imagine how confusing THAT is to an eleven year old. And much, much worse things that I don't even like to imagine. They need YOU to tell them what's good and healthy BEFORE they start seeing these images, so they know to be shocked and react in the way you would hope they would when they do (and they will) see them.

How to Monitor the Internet

Ah me, you are going to LOVE this. If you didn't know already of course. In which case, why didn't you tell ME?? :)

There is an awesome piece of software called WebWatcher that is winning 5 star reviews and awards all over the place. Why? Because it has one unique advantage over other similar web monitoring softwares.

IT CAN SEE THEIR PHONES TOO!!

*snicker* I'm feeling a rush of 'Parental Power' ™

What makes WebCatcher so unique (and all kinds of awesome) is that it uses a website to monitor any tablet or phone as well as being able to monitor and control all home PC and laptop use. Which is awesome because ...

This is what it will do for you (and your kids):

• Record all email and webmail (both sent and received)

• Record all Instant Messages/Chats

• Monitor all websites visited

• Block any and all undesired websites

• Track all keystrokes typed on the computer

• Take screenshot pictures of the monitored computer so you can see graphics, etc.

• Record all social networking activity including Facebook and Twitter

• Record and/or block Peer 2 Peer activity

Cool huh? No reason to wait, there's a PC or Smartphone version. Get monitoring. What's that about your childs privacy? Before the age of 16? With all that accessible porn AND predatory paeodophiles out there?! *pfft* Get good parenting.

What You Can Do Elsewhere

PLEASE. I implore you. It's an old method but, write to your local MP or Senator. The internet COULD be monitored more. The Porn Industry would fight it but - fuck them frankly. If enough people, parents campaign for tighter security for Online Porn Sites and images then it CAN be achieved.

I'm not remotely against Porn, when it's made and shown without harming or taking advantage of anyone, but Porn should only be accessible to GROWN UPS surely?

Please talk about it to your friends and family with children and anyone else who you think may be concerned or may have some clout to get something done. Facebook it. Tweet about it. If you blog, blog about it. Please share this lil' old post of mine anywhere you can think of too and let's get a conversation going in the Worlds Parliaments that, like, really fucking needs to be had.

Thank you :) xx