UK Couple Visiting South Africa Eaten by Bug Loving Lions!

We have visitors. Again. Anyone who read my recent post will know that we are currently enjoying a fair plethora of visitors from Europe and we’re loving every minute of it.

Our current visitors are a couple we knew from the UK (Hubby and I moved out to South Africa from there four years ago). I worked with her in an office in Taunton, South West of the UK, and we’ve been firm friends ever since.

Still amazed, half way through their two week stay, that they’re here at all. The effort, not to mention the expense, of coming out here to see us is immense. I told my friend, “it’s a hell of a lot more effort than just meeting up in the local pub once a week” and she replied “you’ve been out here four years, once a week to the pub – once every four years out here, I think it equates to the same thing”. Love her.

I worry though, are they having a good time? What does the average UK dweller (not that I like to think of my friends as ‘average’ in any way) think or expect when travelling to South Africa for the first time?

So far in their first week they have experienced;

Weather. All kinds. It’s been hot and sunny, humid and thundery and even a bit cloudy, wet and chilly at times. Just to make them feel at home!

Plot living. We live on a lovely ranch, in an old (over 100yrs) Ranch House with metal framed windows and a tin roof. Not really a style of living you find in the UK – but we love it because how else could we live in Joburg, and still be able to breathe fresh(ish) air and see trees and nature all around us?

Dangerous Spiders. There is only one, as far as I’m led to believe, that you need to worry about out here. He’s called a button spider, has a bright orange spot on his body and if you see one – run for your life!!!! Okay, maybe not but you do need to steer clear, preferably find a way of getting rid. We’ve lived here five years and have only ever seen one of these spiders so far, in the wheel hub of a caravan we were staying in at Natures Valley last year. But my UK friends found one on our Stoep, busy spinning a web at the head of a lounger that one of them was about to lay back and lounge on. Eeek! On being spotted, Mr Button quickly dashed into a hole in the chairs frame and we, just as quickly, taped up the hole so he couldn’t get out again. It’s okay everyone, you can use that lounger now honest. Dangerous, possibly deadly spidey’s gone now!

Awww, let me just get out the car and tickle his chin ....

Hungry Lions. They went to the Lion Park, we couldn’t join them because sadly we have to work while they’re here, limiting our social time with them a fair whack, so they went on their own in a VW Beetle they’ve hired from our neighbours for their stay. Ever heard a Beetle engine? It kind of growls. When they drove up to the entrance of the Lion enclosure, the Warden came straight over (never happened to us, in our ‘non growling’ car) and told them to keep their windows closed at all times, drive very slowly and be aware that to a lion a Beetle engine sounds like an invitation to play. Hmm. I think what he meant to say was “those lions are going to f*@cking attack your growling car dudes” but I’m sure he didn’t want to scare the tourists. You can guess what happened, a pair of lions – one male one female, started to circle the car and eventually a big male got onto the back and tried to grab a hold. “Oo, how exciting!” we say. “Such a cool experience for the UK visitor to have – you’re so lucky!!” I’m not sure they’d agree. Maybe they saw that news story recently about the Chinese tourist who stupidly (to a level I just cannot fathom) GOT. OUT. OF. HIS. CAR. in the lion enclosure, because the lions were dozing and looked “just like big cats”. He was promptly eaten, in case you’re wondering. Yeah, they’re LIONS moron.

But we think they’re okay. They’re a cool couple, young UK dwellers usually are. They tell us they’re having a lovely time, and they’re not the kind of people who are easily phased. I sure wish we had more social time, or a decent babysitter but other than that really, I think we’re all good.

Mind you, I haven’t told them about the snake the Gardener saw in the back yard the other day .... nah, they’d only worry.